April

I'm like many people I know--I don't like the transitions between seasons. I'm one of those people that wants the weather to just make up its mind. I love each of the four seasons in their full glory. That's a big part of the reason I enjoy living in the Northeast. But the in-between...that's just frustrating to me (a reason I am not particularly fond of November). We (everyone who shares this sentiment with me) often see these times as drab, uninspiring, and ugly. However, today God offered me a different perspective.

This afternoon I took a walk in which I ended up in the woods. Sometimes you just need a walk in the woods without a plan. My end goal wasn't to have some deep thoughts to share, but rather, to simply get my butt out of my apartment. It wasn't especially warm out, but the sun was shining. One of those days where you feel like you could stay outside forever, but your ears still get red and your nose gets a bit runny. Once I was in deep enough I stopped to look around and listen. Less than half of the ground still had snow on it, but only in the shadows where the sun hadn't gotten to it yet. The tops of the trees swayed from the wind that hadn't made its way down to me yet. The only noises I could here were the trees aching and my boots crunching on snow and leaves. It was beautiful. Often, clarity comes in moments unplanned.

While I was there I didn't want full-blown spring. The sight and sound of this 'half season' was perfect. Without wanting to be too philosophical, it reminded me of where I am; this current season of my life. I'm nearing a time where I have to make decisions. Will I stay put or move on to a new place, a new job, a new life? What today did for me was help me to realize that the transition between seasons is not only necessary, but it's beautiful too. It sets the stage for the next season, in all its glory, to be something to behold.

Japan

There was a sadness that came over me yesterday as I saw footage on the news, not only because of the images of despair and destruction, but also because there are people in this country that say that Japan somehow deserves this because of what they did at Pearl Harbor in 1941. It's unfathomable that people can say such awful things.

Sure, the events of Pearl Harbor were reprehensible, but so was our response of a-bombs. The fact that a small minority of people still hold bitterness towards Japan is unbelievable to me. Additionally, most of these vocal idiots are too young to have even been alive at that time. Perhaps this hatred is being passed down through generations much like racism is. Perhaps they just want to be different. Perhaps they enjoy shocking people. Whatever the reason is it doesn't change the damage this does.

During my short time in Japan this past November I was amazed at how hospitable everyone was. I experienced such a warmth from the people and really enjoyed my time there. Not that my reaction would be any different to the tragedy there if I hadn't visited, but it's just a more vivid picture in my mind after being there.

My heart breaks for you, Japan. I wish I could do so much more.

R.I.P. Rick Martin

I never watched Rick Martin play, but I went to preschool with his son, Corey. From the age of 10 (when I first started really watching the Sabres) I always heard his name. My mom and grandma would talk about 'The French Connection,' the line Martin played left wing on with legends Rene Robert and Gilbert Perreault, with great affection. He's been part of the story of Buffalo sports since the early 70's. As a kid I would see his #7 banner hanging in the arena beside Robert's #14 and Perreault's #11 and not far from Tim Horton's #2. They all seemed larger than life to me and it was like they looked over the always changing Sabres lineups throughout the years and kept watch over the ice. They were the constants, the immortals. They were always there. Now Martin joins Horton cheering the team on from a place further away than the arena. R.I.P. Mr. Martin.
(Photo by Steve Babineau, Getty Images via Montreal Gazette)

Night

I love night photography. It's the type of photography that excites me the most. I'm not someone that takes a lot of photos anyway and I almost never take photos of every day events. I take photos when inspired and for me to feel inspired it usually means I'm experiencing a unique place, time, or circumstance. Skylines, lights, and impossible night skies never cease to get me excited.

I'm not sure why I have such a strong response to the night when I look through a camera lens. Maybe it's because by virtue of how the picture needs to be taken I'm not just capturing a quick snapshot in time, but rather, several seconds of time strung together into one moment.

Maybe it's movement that I find so compelling. The science of motion in art form. Being able to see something in an image that is never displayed in reality. Or perhaps it's how they have a dream-like feel to me.
Or maybe it's simply the different sort of challenge this type of photography demands. Getting everything right in split seconds. The shutter being open long enough (but not too long), the right aperture, the proper ISO. The moment I see before I even take the first shot is what draws me there, but the experimentation is what keeps me there.

Whatever the reason may be, I love it. At the risk of sounding philosophical, images like these remind me of the many intersections our lives make with others if only for fractions of seconds. I think there is something really beautiful about that.

Hurt

I feel hurt when a part of the population within this community makes my job, recruiting students to this place, much more difficult than the inherent challenges already make it by being so reckless with what they say and by criticizing all possible minutia.

Another 'thought from the shower'

Traveling gives me perspective (and motivation). I think I'm better in my friendships and I'm better at my job if I've been traveling. It both fills my mind with new things to think about and also clears my mind of unnecessary thoughts I seem to get bogged down with. I never lose the urge to travel and I think that if I'm not traveling, even every once in awhile, I get bored and antsy.

Can anyone relate?

It's not my decision!

Lately I've been thinking a lot about the notion of "God's will" and how it seems so many people use it as a reinforcement for the decisions they make.

The way I see this manifest itself most often is in my job in admissions for a private Christian college. The springtime marks the time of year where our accepted students let us know whether they'll be enrolling at our school or at another school. Often times, reasons for going elsewhere include issues with finances, our location (we're pretty rural), or they've decided to pursue a major we don't offer. But a common thread with many of the students is the idea that it's "not God's will for me to go there" or "it's God's will for me to go to this other school." In reality, I know that often the reason is that this student doesn't want to go to school in the country or that this student just liked another school better. Of course, they are often too timid to own up to the real reasons.

Once someone states that their decision is "God's will," it ends the conversation. What can one say to that? "Well, God told me that the exact opposite is true!" Of course not. Don't get me wrong, I fully believe that God does call specific people to specific places and specific things. But have we taken this too far?

I've recently been really trying to figure out what I believe to be true about my relationship with God and our respective relationships with Him. I guess, the conclusions I've been coming to are that God isn't interested in dictating our lives as if we have no control over what happens to us. So many Christians seem to live like God's will is some sort of nebulous force that directs us in major (and minor) decisions as if every decision has a RIGHT choice and a WRONG choice. You're either IN God's will or you're OUT. Really?

Can we agree that God wills for us to be obedient to his commands? Can we agree that "living in God's will" can mean that we're following how God would have us treat each other and pursuing Him with our minds and our actions?

If I make a decision because I believe it's God's will that I make that decision and then I start feeling discontent after a time, does that mean it's no longer "God's will?" Like I said, I believe God can and does call some people to specific things, but I think that more often than not, God invites us to make our own choices. And I think something for all of us to try to do is to OWN those decisions once we make them. Let's also be honest about the reasons we make decisions and let's not make "God's will" the automatic fallback response.